Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Survival, Bliss

But why else would I move between two extreme character norms? Unless someone is controlling the way I function indirectly, fooling around with my ideas. And who else would that be other than my own mind.
Last night I couldn’t sleep thinking about how uncreative I’ve become when it comes to my writings. Among other things I thought about was how hard it is to make a song, how hard it is to make something that actually inspires people, and of course the timeless idea that relationships shouldn’t be that hard unless they are not working in the first place.
You deal with your friends on daily basis as well as your family. Why is it any different when it comes to the significant other? Is it because more friction would naturally cause more tension? Is it pure physics after all?
I want to study mathematics again, to continue cherishing the small things that make me happy (no matter what he thinks), to further investigate the spiritual side of life, to drive without directions, and to cook something this week.
Whoever said that I want the best of both worlds was damn right. And it is not such a bad thing, because you know what’s best for you more than anybody.
I know what I want.
To live in a comfortable relationship and save the ammunition for all the other things I need to fight everyday in order to survive.


  1. U know math IS the Universal language? Do U know the beauty of Phi? or the story of Pi? A book just fell into my stack entitled "A Beginner's Guide to Constructing the Universe - The Mathematical Archetypes of Nature, Art and Science."

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Looks kinda fun. I used to be a math whiz before graphic design forced me to play with both sides of my brain. Took down the math thing a notch. No matter. I still play! play! play!