Monday, November 18, 2013

The Wind Has a Memory Too

My millionth letter goes unnoticed. I am again bound to cure myself from my expectations. There has not been a day where I have not thought about the distance between our faiths, how tight it is and how the universe paves for its expansion.
Stars remain my secret; how they glow and fade away indicating the sudden warmth sweeping over my chest whenever I remember you. Love is the most hurtful thing in the world, for it is all things combined.
Nothing was artificial, we found no need to run around in circles. We both would out smart our mind games, and so we skipped..

"Once you begin to write about it, it takes away from it being real"

...but what does one do when lovesick?

My beloved city required more obligation on my side. "Let me have them, instead" the city screamed.
" For I will make them bound to you forever more, they shan't love except through you, blinded by my sun and your existence. Let me have them, for I know were they should be kept."

How many winters are we bound to spend together/apart?
The distance forgets whenever I may, it grows from within me, outwards.
The city never does, it keeps my memory guarder within its curves.
Where we kissed, we shall stroll by again...

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Key #1

What makes me a happy individual is the fact that I do not force or resist any sort of change.
Try it.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Love in the Time of Protests

I stopped counting the days somewhere along the way.
There was this flashback where we ran into the square, we flied, and so did our love.
The teargas was different, so were the voices I heard coming out of the people surrounding me in times of sever danger. Our concerns grew apart, it happened before it officially happened.
We have similar approaches to the story. We have distinctive approaches to life, generally, and what we want out of it, essentially.
People demand,
People demand,
People demand... It was in or authority to yield to their wishes and so it is. You were the people, my own revolution. You stripped me naked to my core, believed in me, cried and let me go because it just hurt too much to watch me not turning out to be what you thought I were. It felt like someone yanking my teeth out of my gum. Getting off on my bleeding. The process was inexpressible, my nervous system didn't know how to react to such pain.

Up until this very moment, I haven't figured out the way a perfect love story should end. The dictated options sound either too mainstream or too dramatic, I refused both. Neither of us insisted on a closure... Maybe this is how it is supposed to look like.

I wanted to live. A decision I adopted shortly after, the teargas was different and I kept looking for your gone-voice after each chant. I heard your strings being stroked, but someone else was playing them and so I sang along.
We the workers,
We the peasants,
We the people.
They all wanted me to find me again.
I consumed a lot of poison.I somehow expected that by consuming that, you would die. I threw it all up on new years' eve. What was left, I threw up in your face some twisty dark night on a beach. It is all hazy in my mind, nothing is linear. With you, nothing ever is.

As they shook me satisfied, you stood still.
As you began your own cycle of self-loathing, I was getting over myself.
Declaring that I will not lose this round, I will not give in to you winning, that I fought for love and will still do, just in a direction deviating from your face, path and ego.

I was over the whole cycle of getting under someone just to see how revenging myself can manifest itself through other people. I was done hating myself enough to whore "me" around. I wasn't over the fact that you chose to sleep with people who couldn't pronounce your circumcised name right. Does it get as intense as their rain-tanned skin under your nails?

Moving forward became a lifestyle, one I can easily relate too. Everything that has been was then, now is new. Now is recreational and colourful. Definitions changes and what I deemed necessary became unrealistic.

Love grows within you outwards, revolution cracks you open, ready for inhaling it all again.
It takes courage to let go, let go when you must, for me to live, for you to live and for love to come our way. The soldiers had to leave, for us to see what other options we had.
You had to go, for me to see what life has to offer once again.
I love every part of me.
Did you have to die for me to see?

Self Reminder

There will come a time when you will look at the world and get paralyzed by you inability to absorb all of it. Giving in to your state of sudden paralysis has never solved anything. Shake it off, believe in chances and off you go.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

because you are toxic beyond my attempts and my good intentions, that's why...