I Don't Belong Here

I am the friend that once was
I am the Patriot that once was
I am the cold cup of coffee
I am the piece you can't compose
I am your dead end job
I am your ex-lover
I am the book you never finished,
the words you never said
I am the test you never went through,
the road you never tried
I am the designer handbag you can't afford
I am the pain in your ass.

So That You'd Understand Where I'm Coming from

If you fall in love with someone and you wake up to realize you fell in love with an image up in your head and no the actual person standing infront of you, 3adi, acceptable, love is blind and doesn't make sense most of the time.
What is not understandable is this exact experience happening with a friend, a very good friend if I may say.
The friend you thought you knew like the back of your hand, the one who's speech and action you can predict miles ahead, the one you call 8432 times a day just because you can.
What if that friend of yours did something so unbelievably out of the usual that makes you think of the person in a different light.

How can you learn to look at the person the same?
Does your relationship allow this kind of change?
Is it worth it any longer?
Are feelings controllable?

It is not about you any longer , is it now?
I need to adapt to this version I never thought you’d be.
You want the best of both worlds
I want what’s best for me.
You just don’t hit me as someone who’d drive all the way up to the middle of nowhere so that he can apologize, you don’t hit me as someone who can be manipulated that easily.
You screwed this up and now you want my sympathy!

Same Old Story

You like my rebelliousness and yet you don’t me to rebel if you restrict me.
You love how free spirited I am yet you don’t want me to drift away in my own space.
You love my charisma yet you feel jealous if I talk to other people when you are around.
You love my wildness yet you want to tame me.
You love my character yet you almost always give me notes about my behavior.
You know I saved you yet you don’t want to save me.
You said you loved me the way I am yet you persist on adding your finishing touches.
You are so vain I bet you think this piece is about you.

Should I be doing something else, within a different setting?

The last 2 hours at the office seem to surprise me with how cold they can be and how creative I can get with excuses,
List time?
1. I need to drop someone off at the airport
2. Doctor's appointment
3. 3azza
4. Embassy's appointment
5. Government related paper work
6. The Labor Law clearly states that the public sector employees are to work 8 hours a day and not exceed 48 hours a week.
7. I think I have the Swine Flu

I care for someone's exam time
I care that someone is not eating right
I care for someone who's not happy with something with something that unexpectedly came up, ruining the "plans"

Give me a reason to stay, a theme and a worthy guy!

Tendency to Deny it Ever Happened Is Such a Cliche

Do you leave the lights on before you go to bed?
And remember all the things I once said
You randomly catch my scent
And wish your hand was in mine.
I bet your sun doesn’t shine.
Songs sound different, guitars weep
Are your nights tortured with questions?
And all your days feel all the same?
Do you doubt your friends can come to the rescue this time?
How does it feel knowing a part of your life has dissolved?
I bet you thought it was all my fault.
I bet you know now how it feels to regret,
to have loved and lost.
Were there things left unsaid,
And lights that need to be shed
Do you dwell, do you cry
Does it all seem vague and dry?
I bet you would kill for my kiss,
I bet you want those spaces filled
I bet I’m very hard to get over.

Time

It doesn’t make them think,

They measure the infinite

Minutes and years

And it doesn’t make them think.

Does it Worry You to Be Alone?

I am the bigger person.
I have the upper hand.
I oversee these insignificant events.
I know for a fact that what you are trying to pull off is impossible and pointless considering this frame of action and thought. I have to tell you that I’m highly disappointed.
I don’t lack direction or guidance. Even if I did, I wouldn’t turn to you.
And if you should take a decision, follow it till the end and act accordingly.
Don’t even think that you are protecting me. You’ll only do this to protect yourself.

How could you say such things? That you belong to someone, that you are willing to give your life to someone, that you would sacrifice, compromise, adapt and submit?

How could all the things in the world mean one person and one person only?
How could someone be all that?
Out of all the annoying people in the world, find the least annoying and try to co-exist…..



Or not!

Find someone worthy of your time, who will not consume your energy and who’s straight to the point…….

Or not!

Left With a Choice

Deciding whether to leave or stay has always been the most difficult decision the relationship undergoes.
You can leave anytime you want. I’m not holding you hostage.
I’m tired of pushing this forward for yet another day.
You can take away all the things that happened to me when you came around.
Can I leave now, without having to explain why?
Without a long tearful conversation and the so very fake mediation that someone has to offer making you feel as low as ever.
If I decide to leave just like that, if all the courage in the world was bottled up inside me, if all the ruthlessness I have developed managed to come together, had this been a different time.
If I were certain I wouldn’t miss your scent.

Bitter?

I hate the national soccer team, among many other things today.

I hate the security guy who claimed my Swiss knife a threat to other people’s security. Why can’t you claim sexual verbal harassment a threat to my own security as well? Everything around me is so Americanized.

I lost my identity and I undergo a thousand different identity crisis each minute I breathe, I undergo a hundred anger attacks, I undergo a million deaths when you are not around.
People frustrate me on daily basis.
I feel alone just because I care about the stuff I see significant, just because I care.

I hate white fake leather boots. I hate people not dressing for the occasion.

I hate the fact my femininity is crushed with what dicks say and do.
I will refer to the male gender as dicks until further notice. They deserve it.

I loathe stupidity, teenagers and iPhones (I have my reasons and they are very logical reasons too)

I hate my ex boyfriends, I hate the ex boyfriends I shall aquire and acid washed jeans.

I HATE UGLY HANDBAGS, people with low etiquette IQ and trashy bleach hair.