How Very Obvious...

For you are a bird and I am fish....

The 100th

Like a bag with a zipper, that has lots of things in store for you.

You start zipping the bag, because you are just done with surprises that pop up from it every once in a while.

You start zipping, for you not to think about it.

Fast, faster, even faster.....

Until the rate of your zipping starts decreasing, one by one.

Until there is no more zipping to do.

But you are left with the bag.

The presence of the bag starts fading away into the place in your brain with all the distant memories.

Fading...

Fading..........

Until the bag in itself seems like something from another lifetime that happened to someone else.

Things fade into the ordinary once they are reduced to that.

There has been no tested or proven methods to retrieve the bag again.

The Gesture

........and everyone asks the most casual of all questions.

I shake my head and flip my lower lip in a gesture that would suggest me "not knowing".

Then I change the subject to something more lively.

I don't know how my answer is interpreted.

No one talks about it, those 5 seconds of awkwardness never occurred to this time interval.

and if I am lucky enough, the question is not repeated twice by the same person on the same night.

The Big Black Ball of Hate

A big black ball of hate has been formulating inside my gut over the past week.

I will be ready to throw that up on you face in a few weeks' time. Once I do that, it will be evident for everyone, even random strangers you meet walking down the street, that you are hated that much by someone. And you would have to live with it for the rest of your life.

You get to live with the feeling that you have let go of this, without thought, without compassion, without the slightest considerations of other people's opinions and/or feelings.

And selfish people, they get a big black ball of hate soaking up their existence.

Confession

I am attracted to you.

This scares me.

It scares me because I am in love with someone else,

it scares me because this might hurt you,

because this is complex and round and flat and bumpy,

because there is no clear outcome or a path or a plan or light at the end of the tunnel,

because at one point on of us will fall for the trick.

All of these fears are multiplied every single time I think about how my recklessness, attitude towards these things and approach to life are way more powerful than my fears.

Now tell me, is there a way out of this?