The Not So Coherent Post

I've been having difficulty wrapping my brain around an idea lately. This has been going on for quite some time now and it is weird. I need to concentrate more on doing the things I like, eating the things I want and managing my money a little more responsibly.

Sometimes you get caught up in the routine of the routine-less life. Symptoms of such a phase are apparent when you find yourself doing all the things you "normally" do but getting less satisfaction out of it. Hint? Spending most of your paycheck on food and not remembering the last time you went out with friends for a meal or the last time you bought a bottle of wine to go with your special dinner out with your significant other.

Post-existentialism is when you have asked yourself all the existential questions with no answers, when you have searched for god and wondered at how the universe is so perfect/so fucked up and yet you are completely ok with not finding answers to all that and settling for either beliefs: 1. That the universe is so perfect it must have a powerful perfect creator or 2. who the hell is responsible for this mess. Either way, it is fine because there is a third option, 3. That it doesn't really matter and you don't have to take sides on that matter.

Living in the bubble that I live in, I have grown a belief that I am not adequate to judge the people living in this country with me.

I have been thinking alot about marriage lately and it confuses me so much that I decided to not think about it.

I have made it to the 9th level in my French class.

I am terrible with money and I can't do anything about it.

I can honestly say that I handle bad choices quite well. It hit me when a friend of mine was asking about the regrets I have concerning decisions that I have made and I replied that I had no regrets. I honestly believe each bad decision I took contributed to my learning process and that I made me who I am today. I like who I am today.

Involving someone else in your life is a tough choice perhaps even tougher than not involving someone else. You need to sort out your own mess before you drag someone along or else, the relationship might face double the challenge it was meant to if you had your life figured out. OR NOT, putting a relationship through all the possible challenges and tests might as well leave you with a solid relationship that you can rely on no matter what and that's kinda sexy too.

People fall in love not in one shot but on different little shots that accumulate to build a bond of trust-ship which is prettified by our little wonderful minds into this state of seemingly endless euphoria we call love. CONGRATULATIONS best friend, I love you.