Soak me up until I melt away

A piece of me left to a far off land some time ago, departures beyond which occur as a blur in my time - nothing after that seemed like a departure but rather a fraction of existence in my own illusion. I have not been able to "feel" as strongly about anything or anyone beyond that, not until I learned that "feeling" is unessential. We can be apathetic, never underestimate apathy.

But when I felt your smell on the Pink Floyd t-shirt you got me, I cried and held my breath, until I left our shared fantasy, I was not able to restore my breath back.

and when I dream of you my deeper dreams turn upside down, in and out. It bores me out of my element how your love is a persistent force, equally pressuring me into a limited version of myself. Subtle and persistent, unable to dissolve into the ordinary. I was not able to move beyond that point, not until you revisit my dreams anyway.

I wrapped my arms around your hoodie, and think about the distance we are about to create between our souls,

I see you in my dreams and wake up feeling what it felt like to kiss your lips, I remember a far off day when we were able to hold a conversation,

I realise the consequences to my actions, and hear your heart breaking from beyond the sea separating our fates,

I feel a little chilly and curse the day you gave up on this sun, and how it felt like to not be able to stop eating at our favourite street food stops,

I get a phone call from you and my world spins with all the components it misses now that we are geographically challenged into this situation,

No energy or love is strong enough to survive all of this except death, and we are yet to try that one out, just not today. For today we celebrate our struggles with this separation, we celebrate the love that binds us to try more, and do more and be more only to end up satisfying our egos and our not-so-sure selves.

This is a tribute to those who chose to leave with pieces of my heart which they will never be able to give back. I am here without those, and there exists no limit to how much pain my heart can contain.

Celebrate the pieces you took away, relive me, and my warmth,
There are no boundaries to how much love my heart can still radiate.

Footnote: i think I wrote this years ago, I think I will write it over and over again.